Bringing Up Bébé - aka How to Now Lose Yourself in Motherhood And Other Important Things

Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting by Pamela Druckerman - thoughts and a review

Before I had kids, I envisioned myself as the type of parent who would be as involved as possible. I would have all the workbooks to help my kids get ahead, let my kids try each and every sport, and basically, follow the sequential steps to be by their side to nurture them every step of the way. I thought I would set them up for success in the very typical way of American parenting. 

Once I was old enough to see friends and family have children in a more personal setting, it turned into a social experiment and I did a bit of a u-turn on what I thought was the right way and what wasn't going to work with my lifestyle. I quickly saw how toxic this "overparenting" culture was not only to our children, but to the relationships we spent a lifetime cultivating with our partners, family, and friends.

One of the first books I read about raising kids was "BabyWise". The book has a heavy focus on sleep training and essentially helps you to teach your baby the benefits of a schedule and has a heavy focus on teaching babies to fall asleep independently. After that, I dove into SolidStarts on babyled weaning before turning to a few books that were centered around more of the big picture parenting techniques. I read "There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather" and found a culture of parenting that more closely aligned with the way I actually wanted to parent, in a way that made sense to me and my lifestyle. I looked back at the books I read and quickly realized I was really drawn to a more structured parenting style that focused on independence.

I read about "Bringing Up Bebe" and added it to my request list at the local library, knowing this book had similar themes to the books I have read, but under the lens of a different culture. I was right and soaked up Druckerman's advice as an American living in France. I saw so many similarities between this book and There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather, revolving around autonomy and independence but I also saw some differences. While both cultures emphasize good eaters, the French take food ten steps further and it's admirable how important food is to the French culture right from the start. Sweden is the leader in sustainability and environmentally conscious actions in nearly every aspect of their life.

Outdoorsy Parenting - "There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather, Just Bad Clothing" (Book Review and Highlights)

If you "know" me, you are probably really sick of me talking about the Swedes.

I'll admit it, I'm obsessed. I've become absolutely infatuated with their culture, their home design, the way they parent, and the way they approach life and the outdoors. It started with the change of the season as I felt like an outsider for getting outside every day through the winter with my son (for his sanity and mine). All winter long, you could find him in a sled while I towed him on my cross country skis, out for a chilly winter run in his jogging stroller, or snowshoeing the trails with him on my back. Side glances and comments were cast my way as we headed outside despite the temperatures, sometimes for ten minutes, sometimes for two hours. 

I knew I wasn't the only one who believed in the importance of the outdoors despite the season and I kept blurting out my defensive response "What do you think Canadians and Nordic countries do, stay inside for four months of the year?" Well, now I know exactly what they do. I started to do some research and it was all over by the time I finished reading a Swedish/American parenting book. "There's No Such Thing as Bad Weather: A Scandinavian Mom's Secrets for Raising Healthy, Resilient, and Confident Kids (from Friluftsliv to Hygge)" by Linda Åkeson McGurk

This book is the perfect reflection on this stage of life I'm currently in. An outdoor advocate and a parent in love with the outdoors. I read this book and so much of what the author said resonated with the way I want to raise my son.  I understand why Scandinavian countries are so passionate about the outdoors, why they are so green/environmentally conscious, and how they truly embrace an active outdoorsy lifestyle in all sorts of weather. I grabbed a copy at my local library and devoured this book in a few days. I kept the notes app open on my phone, quickly jotting down the points that I wanted to remember and share with you. Today's post is a bit of a review and a highlight reel of some of my favorite points from the book. 

Giving Our Kids a "Better Life" - The Modern Twist

As parents, we always want to do "better" for our kids. We want to give them "the things we never had" and "a better life".  My parents grew up very poor before immigrating to the U.S. from the Azorean Islands of Portugal. While their lives improved drastically here in the United States, it still took a lot of grit, hard work, and a bit of luck to get where they are today. While raising a family, it was important for them to follow through on the "give them better" logic. While my father never even graduated high school, he worked hard to ensure we all had the financial means to have the things we wanted (within reason) and to attend a good college without the burden of student loans. As a kid and young adult, I traveled the world, sat down to a homecooked meal every night, was loved by two happily married parents, I had my health and healthy siblings. I lived on a cul-de-sac in a safe quiet little town in coastal Connecticut with a great school system. Heck, I even had a horse. 

While I had a lot, I wasn't raised as a spoiled rotten child. Our family had strict rules that I had to abide by and my parents did a great job of balancing the "give" and the "go get it yourself". I had a busy schedule of babysitting gigs before legally entering the workforce as an ice cream scooping teenager.  I truly had a great childhood by any conventional standard. 

Four Day Colorado Ski Trip - Affordable Travel and the Epic Pass

By the time March rolled around, we were feeling fried.  My business picked up, Adam was working a lot of overtime, and we had survived the childcare less month of February.  Plain and simple...we needed to get away.  We hadn't been on an airplane since before the pandemic and we were desperate to get away for any amount of time.  While a lot of our friends headed south for sunshine, we planned an entirely different getaway.  Our 2020 ski season was cut short due to the pandemic, and winter 2021... I was very very pregnant. And so, this was our first year back on skis. We bought the Epic Pass to make sure we got out there and used it and it worked.  We spent four days in Colorado, three days skiing in the most perfect warm and sunny spring skiing conditions. It was long enough to recharge but not too long away from our one year old.  It was the perfect amount of time to enjoy a ski weekend without going insanely overbudget on an expensive trip. We were so happy to come home to our baby and our dogs, and both agreed these were some of our best ski days yet. We returned home perfectly windburned and happily recharged. 

A year of Whitney - Celebrating in a Winter ONEderland

On February 24th, we celebrated Whitney's first birthday. It's wild to sit back and think that 365 days have passed since that moment I first saw Whitney. The past year has been filled with ups and downs and I can say with certainty that loving him has changed my life in an amazing way. My fears about motherhood slipped away as I stepped into the new role. I worked hard to ensure I "bounced back" to my physical and emotional self as quickly as I could. I made it my main mission to integrate Whitney into my life, not just change my life to always serve him. Having a child was not a death sentence to my identity, to my body, to my sleep schedule or the way I enjoy life. He enhances my life in a way that is hard to describe, adding another layer to my persona, not stripping some away.

His first birthday felt like such a celebration. You laugh at the "congratulations for keeping him alive for a year" texts but I started to take them to heart. I didn't want to throw a huge party but I wanted something thoughtful that brought my family together to celebrate a year with this darling little boy. As I spent hours making a balloon arch and assembling floating snowflakes to the ceiling, I kept telling myself "It's a party for us too". I put out the popcorn, ordered the pizza, and popped champagne to celebrate the sweetest year of Whitney.